


Secret Conversations

by Ariss_Tenoh



Category: Coldfire Trilogy - C. S. Friedman
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 05:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2298359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariss_Tenoh/pseuds/Ariss_Tenoh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wasn't admitting it to anyone. Not now, not ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Oct 14th 2006.

It was an embarrassing thought and Damien would slit both his wrists and his throat before admitting it to anyone. Scratch that, he wasn't admitting it to anyone. Not now, not ever. Subject closed. For eternity.

 

Still.... sometimes in the quiet darkness of the night, Damien would lie awake and muse. Talk silently to himself about things he didn't even think about in his waking hours. Because being around an adept meant not even your thoughts could be your own. Privacy didn't exist with someone who could control the very fabric of the planet. Which was why Damien only allowed himself to admire the man at night and when said man was deeply asleep and oblivious.

 

The Lord forbid Gerald find out that Damien actually approved of his lover's fastidious nature for cleanliness and vanity.

 

There, he'd said it. The sky did not fall on his head.

 

Damien smiled wryly at his silly joke.

 

In truth, he didn't know why he liked Gerald's obsessive cleanliness. Much less his woman-like vanity about his clothes and appearance. Damien frowned, thinking about his past lovers. All his women, if they could be called that, were strong of character and fiercely independent. They cared about their appearance, yes, certainly. But none of them had taken pains to always appear beautiful and feminine. To them, it was a means to an end and not an end in itself.

 

Gerald was different. He wore his fine robes like a second skin. They were an integral part of him, part of what made him the person he was. _Is_. There was pride there of course, an awareness of his own elegance and beauty but it never interfered with his sharp mind or his ruthless personality.

 

Maybe it was as simple as Damien loving Gerald's physical features. A beautiful lover was a joy to look at, that was an undeniable truth. Or perhaps in the aftermath of the wreck that his life had become, Damien appreciated having a familiar constant to lean on. Whatever the reasons were, it wasn't something Damien would ever tell his lover. He'd journey through Hell before he'd tell Gerald that he approved of such fussy behavior. _Had_ in fact gone through Hell already and he still wasn't going to tell Gerald.

 

"Would you please go to sleep?" A voice whispered, discontent clear in its tones.

 

Damien stroked a veritable waterfall of black hair. "Sorry, I thought you were asleep."

 

"I could hear you thinking in the back of my mind like a busy bee." The words came from somewhere near Damien's neck where the other had buried his face.

 

Damien moved to lie on his side and embraced his lover. The smaller body was disconcerting but he'd get used to it. He laid a soft kiss on the man's forehead and murmured, "Sorry." There was a puff of air against his neck as if his lover huffed in annoyance.

 

With the comforting weight of the body in his arms, Damien went to sleep thinking that sometimes it was good to have constants in the world.

 

~ End ~


End file.
